Toddlers Are A**holes: It’s Not Your Fault

May 30, 2015 - Comment

Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it’s a “you better laugh so you don’t cry” period. Just remember that toddlers are a**holes: It’s not your fault.

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Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it’s a “you better laugh so you don’t cry” period. Just remember that toddlers are a**holes: It’s not your fault.

Bunmi Laditan’s hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that “It’s Not Your Fault.” Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and “how not to die inside.” Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants (“One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone.”), Things You Thought You’d Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler (“I can tell you’re pooping because your eyes are watering.”), and how to order pizza (“Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google ‘can anger give you a heart attack?’ Start the bedtime routine.”).

Laditan’s wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.

Comments

Mia Walters says:

If you catch a squirrel, we will go get ice cream! (Said so I could read this book in my yard) Stay at home mom here. The only reason I didn’t write a review sooner was because I had this book in my face. (I was able to read it by sitting outside and telling my son we would get ice cream if he could catch a squirrel.) Speaking of face, toddlerhood slapped us in the face way before I expected it. 15 months. I started off as one of THOSE moms. Crunchy granola no tv or electronics organic gluten free “not my sweet angel” moms. Now my toddler is a little S$#% half the time (remember, we aren’t full blown toddler yet.) We have literally worn out one DVD of Frozen and my husband was told not to bother coming home from work without a new one. As I write this, I stink. Like really stink. I can’t recall my last shower. My kid sits on my lap while I poop and my house is covered with a white film, being a combo of yogurt and lotion, which are interchangeable to him. My meals consists of whatever he didn’t eat, which is often enough that I know I will at least get one hot…

Amanda G says:

If I didn’t know better, I’d swear this was a book about my life. This book was hilarious! I found myself agreeing with almost the entire thing. As a matter of fact, often times, when I would finally sit down to read after a tiresome day with my little A hole (whom I love, don’t get me wrong), I would end up reading a section of the book that happened to coincide with what my toddler had done that day. I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or cry. I think I may have laugh-cried. You know, that thing you do when you laugh and cry at the same time and your husband looks at you like he’s concerned for your mental health and the only solution is to stand in the corner of the room and throw chocolate at you. Kind of like feeding a bear. It could go either way. 

Tendaena says:

Hilarious! I knew I wasn’t the only one who’s kid acts crazy. I have a 3 year old and omg this book rang so true. If I could give this book 100 stars I would.

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